Stopping Prejudice in Its Tracks: Same‑Sex Parents Denied Service
- Balance Learning Resources
- Nov 19
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 17
Grade Level: 6-12
Duration of video 1: 7 minutes, 23 seconds
Themes: Inclusion and dignity • Non‑violent courage • Upstander vs. bystander • Fairness in public spaces • Practical empathy
Description:
Students watch a hidden-camera scenario where a family with same-sex parents is refused restaurant service. Students identify what’s unfair, analyze how bystanders and upstanders respond, and practice (via role play) 10 Upstander Steps that are kind, safe, truthful, and inclusive. As students learn upstander skills, they discover how to make public spaces safer and more respectful for everyone.
Lesson Plan:
🎯 OBJECTIVES (SWBAT):
Describe the difference between bystander and upstander actions.
Identify unfair treatment and discriminatory behavior.
Reflect on the feelings of protagonists, which builds empathy.
Reflect on how bystanders’ silence or upstanders’ action affects everyone involved.
Discuss and role-play 10 specific Upstander Steps.
Propose one verbal or behavioral “upstander action” they could take in a real-life situation to create a safe, respectful, inclusive response.
🧰 MATERIALS:
Video 1: Parents Are "Gay Bashed" In Front of Their Children | What Would You Do? | WWYD | ABC News (7:23)
Student Worksheet 1: Upstander Steps (Printed for each student or digital copy).
Whiteboard and dry-erase markers
Index cards or sticky Post-it notes for reflection and Exit Ticket.
Sticky notes/pencils
In 22 states, gay couples can be legally booted from restaurants. How often that happens is unclear
📋 LESSON FLOW
Hook:
Write on the board: “What would you do if a family wasn’t served at a restaurant due to the staff’s prejudice?”
Teacher says:
“We’re about to see a real situation. Take notes as to what people do — not what they think — but what they actually say, ignore, or choose to do. We’ll discuss this after the video.”
Watch the video 1: Parents Are "Gay Bashed" In Front of Their Children | What Would You Do? | WWYD | ABC News (7:23)
WHOLE CLASS DISCUSSION:
Create two columns on the Whiteboard: Bystander Choices (silence/passivity) / Upstander Choices (safe action + kindness)
As students answer the discussion questions below, write their answers in the appropriate column to anchor the difference between:
Bystanders = silence/passivity and Upstanders = safe action + kindness
What unfair behavior did you notice?
If the family had not been actors, how do you think they would have felt if the scenario was real?
Who was a bystander and stayed quiet? Why do you think they didn’t act?
Who was an upstander and tried to help? What exactly did they say or do?
How do targets of aggression and prejudice feel when people are bystanders? How do they feel when people are upstanders?
How do you think upstanders feel about themselves after they take positive action?
How do bystanders damage society while upstanders strengthen society?
What do you hope you would do in this situation?
UPSTANDER SKILLS:
Say: “Very often, people don’t know how to be upstanders. They are afraid to say anything because they may get attacked by the aggressor. We are going to learn 10 Upstander Steps today that you can take - to support the target without going up against the aggressor.”
Hand out Student Worksheet 1: Upstander Steps and review with the students.
ROLE PLAY:
Divide students into 3 or more per group to recreate the scene, or a related scene, using the upstander steps. Important role assignments:
Have quiet students play the aggressor [safe way to practice power], and outspoken students play the target of the aggression [builds empathy]. Reminder: We’re acting, not attacking - no real insults.
REFLECT AND SHARE:
Teacher says: “Let’s reflect on what we saw, what people did, and what we might do when we face something unfair.”
Understanding the Impact
What difference did it make when someone finally spoke up?
How did the family seem to feel after someone helped?
How do you think the bystanders felt when they stayed silent?
Stepping Into Each Role
How do you think the upstander felt before taking action?
How do you think the upstander felt after taking action?
What kind of courage does it take to stay calm and speak up?
Moving from Bystander to Upstander
How can learning and practicing these skills help turn someone from a bystander into an upstander?
How can a quiet or shy person still be an upstander?
Applying the Upstander Steps
What does ‘support’ look like in a real moment like this?
Which Upstander Steps feel realistic and doable for most people who learn these skills?
EXIT TICKET:
Hand out a Post-it note to each student. Ask them to write:
How do you want people to feel when you speak up?
Name one Upstander Step you plan to try this month — and where you might use it.
Place all the Post-it notes on a wall in the classroom to serve as a reminder.
ASSESSMENT:
Imagine this Scenario: “Hallway Talk”
During the morning rush, a few students are teasing a classmate who’s walking with their same-sex parents to drop something off at the office. They whisper jokes and laugh as the family passes.
Students answer the following to check for understanding and strengthen personal commitment:
What would a bystander do?
What would an upstander do?
What would YOU do, and why?
How will you remember the upstander steps?.
FURTHER STUDY:
Read the articles below and write a brief report about discrimination in the United States.
MORE PRACTICE:
Teach the following lessons so students can practice their 10 Upstander Steps:
Teacher Notes:
Keep all discussion focused on behavior, not belief.
Rotate roles intentionally: quiet → aggressor; assertive → target.
Always debrief feelings; emotion recognition is part of moral courage.
End with self-care: “Their behavior is on them. Your response shows your values.”
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